May 15th, 2020 donnahoke

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We left Cha and Katie in a pretty specific place last time, so there’s not much to do here except finish that scene. So, let’s join FINDING NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, already in progress.

TINA puts the bag back in the drawer, takes the cups and heads to the kitchen. KATIE checks to make sure she’s gone, then leaps into action. KATIE opens the drawer and gets the bag.

KATIE: Hurry, hurry, hurry!

KATIE dumps the ashes from the bag into the urn.

CHA-CHA: What are you–

KATIE: The purse, the purse, the purse!

CHA-CHA stands dumbstruck, so KATIE grabs the purse and hands CHA the bag.

KATIE: Hold this open. Hurry!

CHA-CHA takes the bag and holds it open. The teakettle whistles.

KATIE (shouts to kitchen): Bags out! (to Cha) Hurry!

KATIE dumps the purse ashes into the bag. It’s messy.

CHA-CHA: You’re mixing them–

KATIE shoves the purse in CHA’s hands.

KATIE: Open it!

KATIE dumps the urn contents into the purse.

CHA-CHA: You’re mixing them!

KATIE: It’s mostly Tonio.

KATIE dumps the bag contents into the urn and puts it back in its place.

TINA enters with the tea. (It would be great if clouds of ash dust could pop up here and there over the next because this was not a clean job, rushed as it was.) KATIE and CHA-CHA are practically sweating from the effort.

TINA: I’m sorry that took so long. Are you feeling better?

KATIE (taking tea): Yes, yes. I’m sorry. I’m sweating. I think I had a panic attack.

TINA: Sit, sit.

KATIE and CHA sit; dust arises.

TINA: Oh my. I guess the secret’s out.

CHA-CHA: We really didn’t–

KATIE: We can explain–

TINA: I’m not a clean freak after all. I just don’t go out. And that’s the horrible embarrassing reason I didn’t go to his funeral. Will he ever forgive me?

KATIE: Of course he will!

CHA-CHA: Once I cut him with the clippers–

KATIE: He screamed.

CHA-CHA: But he did come back.

KATIE: It took a month. I’m sure he’ll come around.

CHA-CHA: If you believe dead people do that.

KATIE: You’re an atheist.

TINA: Oh not really. That’s just what I tell the people at the door. It usually works but not for you. Explain what?

CHA-CHA: What?

TINA: You said you’d explain.

KATIE: Our reaction to…

CHA-CHA: Midnight in Babylon. The color.

KATIE: Tonio loved it.

TINA: I had no idea people had such love for Tonio.

CHA-CHA: He was one of a kind.

TINA: Then you’ll help me? You’ll help me make sure his ashes are treated properly.

CHA-CHA: That’s why we’re here.

TINA: But you didn’t even know–

KATIE: To talk about him with someone he loved. To honor him.

TINA: Do you think I could try that color he liked?

CHA-CHA: You really want a pedicure?

TINA: I think it will make me feel closer to him.

KATIE: We can make an appointment.

CHA-CHA: When we get back.

KATIE: We’re going on a little trip.

TINA: Oh, see I’m envious. A trip to the corner would be too much for me.

KATIE: You’ll be with us in spirit.

CHA-CHA: Promise.

TINA: Wait.

TINA exits, returns with the lasagna. TINA You should take the lasagna. KATIE Is there meat in it? TINA Maybe? KATIE We couldn’t. TINA Please. It’s frozen. TINA shoves the lasagna into Cha-Cha’s hands. It’s freezing and she can’t hold it for long because it hurts!

TINA: Where are you going?

KATIE: On a mission.

TINA: But you’re not religious.

CHA-CHA: A quest.

TINA: For what?

CHA-CHA: A new color.

CHA-CHA drops the lasagna. LIGHTS OUT.

I have a feeling some things may need to be added to this scene later. Do they tell Tina about their mission? Is there a phone call they need to make to her later? I feel like something’s missing here but I don’t know what it is.

I’m also a little unsure about the next scene. I feel like they need to make a plan, which is what would logically follow. I have a few days to think about what that might look like and what might be funny about it. HELP!

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Donna Hoke

Award-winning playwright, Dramatists Guild Council, founding co-curator BUA Takes 10: LGBT Short Stories, xword puzzle maker, author, blogger, word slayer!