EPISODE 17: FINDING NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, A Play In Process | Donna Hoke

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I mentioned in an earlier post about my end-of-play checklist. One of the things I had on it was wanting to add more of Katie and Cha-Cha coming up with nail polish colors for fun. You’ll see that I have one in this scene, but I went back and added some others, including: Well Hung Over (something eye-popping and blinding), joke about I’m An Atheist (black with silver), Urn Your Keep (Katie’s bad attempt), Cockpit Stop (the color of the wild blue yonder), Pickle My Fancy.

I like the running thread of this as started with Midnight in a Bathhouse, so I went through and did that and checked that item off my final to-do list.

And now back to FINDING NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, already in progress:

SCENE 11 45th and 9th, NYC KATIE is taking pictures with her phone.

CHA-CHA: How many pictures do you need of this exact spot?

KATIE: I’m trying to get the perfect picture.

CHA-CHA: I thought you had the perfect picture yesterday.

KATIE: I can delete it if I take one today that’s more perfect.

CHA-CHA: Why are we on this corner anyway?

KATIE: It’s where he met David. He must walk through here a lot.

CHA-CHA: It’s a boring corner.

KATIE: We saw a monkey yesterday.

CHA-CHA: The people watching is better in Times Square.

KATIE: That’s not where they met. And today is their anniversary.

CHA-CHA: So?

KATIE: So maybe they like to come and relive the moment.

CHA-CHA: Which means they’re in Italy.

KATIE: The anniversary of they day they met, the day they realized connecting with someone can change your life.

CHA-CHA: We’ve been stalking this corner for almost a week. Our PTO is gone for a pipe dream that’s not even ours.

KATIE: I feel lucky today.

CHA-CHA: You’ve said that every day and the luckiest I got was Spiderman hitting on me.

KATIE: You said you were finding a bathroom!

CHA-CHA: Super Here Oh My! Blue with red tint.

KATIE: No more Times Square!

CHA-CHA: Tino said 44th and 9th. This is 45th and 9th.

KATIE: It could be in between. We’ll just keep walking back and forth.

CHA-CHA: I can’t do this anymore.

KATIE: You can’t give up.

CHA-CHA: I am. I’m giving up.

KATIE: We have to make Tonio’s dream happen.

CHA-CHA: We can’t even make our own dreams happen.

KATIE: If you set out to run a mile and you stop halfway, what have you accomplished?

CHA-CHA: I got my ass off the couch and ran half a mile.

KATIE: Fine! If you’re making cookies and you stop halfway, what do you have?

CHA-CHA: Cookie dough! I love cookie dough!

KATIE: What if you stop before the flour, when it’s just eggs and butter and sugar?

CHA-CHA: It’s pretty fucking good that way too.

KATIE: I’m gonna get this. If you only draw half an eight, what do you have?

CHA-CHA: Four?

KATIE Four? How do you draw an eight? Four is all lines.

CHA-CHA: I’m bad at math.

KATIE: If you only draw half an eight, you get a goose egg. NOTHING. I don’t want to do this halfway. I’m sick of halfway.

Thoughts?

CHA-CHA: What if we don’t?

KATIE: There.

CHA-CHA: That’s not him.

KATIE: It is. The hat is camouflage but it’s a Hedwig hat. We have to hurry.

CHA-CHA: So what are we doing? Flinging? Sprinkling? Spreading?

KATIE: We don’t want to attract Homeland Security.

CHA-CHA: What if we just each take a handful and shake his hand, like “Neil! Oh my god! So happy to meet you!”

KATIE: So they at least touch him.

CHA-CHA: Yeah.

KATIE: Do we both need to do it? It might seem aggressive. You do it.

CHA-CHA: Why me? KATIE Just do it! He’s walking away!

KATIE pulls out and opens the bag of ashes. CHA hesitates.

KATIE: Hurry!

CHA-CHA reaches in and takes a big handful of what’s left of the ashes.

CHA-CHA: Is this enough?

KATIE: It’ll have to be. Where’d he go? There! Go!

CHA-CHA moves toward the edge of the stage, her hand outstretched like she’s ready to attack. She trips and falls and the ashes go flying.

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Originally published at http://blog.donnahoke.com.